Friday, March 13, 2009

This Is My Neighbor

This is SB's neighbor, Lyle. He lives behind us, and he's on the welfare. Also, I think he might be agoraphobic. He only goes outside to mow his lawn, and he uses a weed-whacker on the entire deal. It takes about four hours to do the backyard alone, but Lyle's concerned about Global Warming, which I think is really nice of him, since he doesn't go outside all that much. 

Lyle's also into feeding squirrels, although, wrongly, I always suspected he was trying to bait them so he could fry them up. This is before I read Lyle's edifying blog, which includes shit about the sanctity of wildlife and nature. I guess you can be agoraphobic, a nudist, a squirrel lover, and green all at the same time. Lyle is what you call a multifaceted individual.

SB always wondered how Lyle kept himself busy all day. This photo from his blog that I stumbled on to (frantically searched for because I'm nosy as hell) answers all that. I figured Lyle stayed somewhat busy putting lime on the bodies of the young men in his crawlspace, but I never guessed that he was also an artist! I'm guessing he made the hat himself. So that's yet another facet of Lyle--artist/musician. 

Lyle is sort of a quiet fellow, but he did say once that he wanted to be in a rock band when he was younger. Since he's inclined to agoraphobia, it was kind of a pointless dream, so now Lyle's a rock band all by hisself. He made his dream come true! So that's yet another facet of Lyle--goal-oriented.

To be honest, before I stumbled upon his blog, I just thought Lyle was a typical neighborhood pervert, with possibly dead bodies in the space under his house, who flashed the neighborhood kids. This just goes to show that you shouldn't judge others! You might be wrong. Of course, you might be right, too.

I'm thinking about maybe taking some Girl Scout cookies over to Lyle and getting to know him better, because he looks interesting. Also, he might let me play the tambourine or maracas or something, or maybe he might teach me how to make my own space man hat. Those could be yet other facets of Lyle--teacher and friend.

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